Tuesday, March 29, 2011

When Being "Not Good Enough" Becomes a Crutch (Read Time: 3 min.)

What happens when the pursuit of perfectionism becomes a world class tour in not being good enough? How do you overcome the train of thought that says no matter what you do, you are not enough? When do you stop the non-sense of that story and make a different choice? Alot of us were raised with a rat race mentality. We strive to be better, stronger, faster, smarter and no matter how hard we work or how far we've come, nothing ever seems to be good enough. At some point, this story gets old. Some people give up on being "good enough." They throw their hands in the air and say "Hell, if I'm never going to be good enough, why even try?" Others nearly kill themselves for perfection, something they'll never attain, and then wonder why they feel like failures all of the time. Neither approach works. At some point, you've got to decide whether the not being good enough is a limiting belief you've inherited or a crutch you use to justify your own sense of low self esteem. It's possible to have a painful crutch. You can take a limiting belief and use it to your benefit. The benefit will be the pity parties you get to throw and the "Woe is me" stories you get to tell and it's not much of a benefit when compared to whole life success. But you can still choose it.
The question is:

Is that really what you want?

Don't allow being "not good enough" to become a label on your life that you then use as a crutch to explain why things never work out for you. That is a dangerous road to travel. We get what we believe and if your belief is firmly planted as the stop that says "I suck", then guess what? You will. Turn things around by disowning the "not good enough" mentality. Stop going for perfection. It doesn't exist. Stop making life about you having to work harder, be smarter, and do more than everyone else just so you can keep up. How tiring is that? No, life is not about competition; it's about creation. If your goal is to create a life you love to look at, don't waste time focusing on your deficiencies. Focus on your proficiencies. Every experience you have is a part of your lifelong spiritual curriculum and guess what? You don't get to graduate until you leave this earth... and then you get to go to the next spiritual classroom. Why waste time fighting to reach a point that you don't really want to get to anyway? You don't have to be perfect for someone to love you. You don't have to be flawless for someone to accept you. You are good enough exactly as you are and that comment doesn't have to scare you. Can you embrace yourself, love yourself, and adore who you are knowing that you are constantly growing and changing? Can you let go of what your parents taught you or your friends told you or what your spouse showed you and decide for yourself what you believe? "Not good enough" plagues way too many of us and it's high time we disowned the belief we never wanted and let go of the perfectionist way of living that does not align itself with wholeness, happiness, and the presence of peace.
Say it with me:

"I am good enough EXACTLY as I am..."

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