Do not get defeated by temporary circumstances.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Do not get defeated by temporary circumstances.
Monday, July 12, 2010
You have dreams, aspirations and goals. When you close your eyes, you can see clearly the direction you'd like your life to take.
The attainment of any dream requires four things:
- Passion: Your desire to live your dream must be stronger than any fear you have about failure or success. You've got to have a burning desire to achieve it.
- Purpose: Not only do you have to know WHAT you want but you have to be very clear about WHY you want it.
- Planning: Those who fail to plan plan to fail. You won't know all the 'hows' of obtaining your dreams. Some of the pieces of the puzzle will come together at the oddest moments and from unexpected places. But, you've got to get the wheels in motion by mapping out your strategies for success. Begin with one set of plans and, as you go from step to step, the plan will naturally evolve.
- Patience: This is the most difficult one. We want our sucess yesterday. But, there's a time to sow and a time to reap. Your greatest success will come in proportion to your capacity to wait for it. Be careful on this one, however. Being still is not the same as standing still. Even as you wait for your dream seeds to grow, there's still alot of work to be done in the meantime.
Once you've got the 4Ps (Passion, Purpose, Planning and Patience), the one question still remains:
How do I achieve ALL my dreams with the limited amount of time I have?
Here's the answer:
Limit your current dream attainment to the Power of 3:
- Work on no more than three dreams at one time. Let's say you have the following dreams: start your own business, go back to school, start a family, write a book, lose 40 pounds, move across the country, and buy a home. All seven dreams can be fulfilled... but they all can't be done with your whole mind in present action at once. That's where the planning comes in. You might decide to spend the next two years focused on your business, going back to school and losing weight. That way, in two years' time, you'll be healthier to start a family and wealthier to move across the country, buy a home and take a few weeks off the business to write your book.
- Develop three actions you need to take every thirty days to move you closer to each of those dreams. Hold a self-appraisal meeting once a month to go over your progress. View your actions as an investment of effort into your dreams, not a working against the obstacle of time to achieve your dreams.
- Say to yourself "I can do this" constantly. Our negative talk is so embedded in our psyches that it often goes unnoticed. It's important to remind yourself on a daily basis (a minute-by-minute basis if you have to) that you CAN do this. Remember: If anyone else can live their dream, you can too!
I love Mondays because it's a fresh start to a brand new week. Forget about what you did or didn't do last week. Your power is in the NOW. Begin today!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Chances are, you're worrying about something. Maybe it's the lack of time in your day needed to get a whole bunch of stuff done. Maybe it's the bills that are coming due this week or next. Maybe it's the relationship you're in that seems to keep going downhill. Maybe it's your kids and school or your kids and the people they hang out with. Maybe you're worried about your health.
Whatever it is, there's one thing you need to get very clear about:
You brought the worry habit into your world and you are the only one who has the power to take it out.
In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale says the following:
#1- Say to your mind "Stop!" and remind yourself "This problem is not bigger than me. I am bigger than the problem."
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Life has its moments. Exhilarating, fulfilling, heart pounding moments... Crushing, life sucking, heart wrenching moments...
It's the adventure of a lifetime and what you choose to focus on in your life is exactly what you will produce more of... which is why it's so important to retain Mental Post-It-Notes that remind you what you believe when the going gets tough.
Here are 10 Mental Post-It-Notes You Need to Keep Around:
- My life is my choice. Life happens for me, not to me.
- I am bigger than my problems. For every problem, there are at least a hundred solutions.
- Everything works out for my highest good.
- I deserve the best and I accept it now.
- In every obstacle, I see greater opportunities.
- Only love is real. I choose love, not fear.
- Tough times don't last but tough people do. Out of this situation, only good will come.
- This too shall pass. Tomorrow is another day.
- I love my life & I am grateful for every breath I take.
- In any situation, I know two things: 1- God knows and 2- I know that God knows.
Use these 10 Mental Post-It-Notes for the next 30 days and you'll be amazed by how your life will transform!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
In tonight's Not Built to Be Broken teleseminar, I'll be discussing what to do with the "good" opinions of other people, especially when those opinions aren't good for you.
Here's one quick and easy way to know the difference:
In one of the Star Wars movies, Obi Wan says a powerful thing "Only siths deal in absolutes." Life is not black and white. It's a huge realm of grey, a blank canvas from which we can draw, paint or create anything. When you say "always" or "never", you're living in the black and white realm and guess what? Nothing that's asserted from that realm could possibly be true. If life is "always" one way or the other, there's no room for growth, change, or transformation. People who believe in "never" squeeze miracles out of their lives.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
And this is where I'm taking this... In my latest book, Not Built to Be Broken, I say the following:
And here's my point: When the person who hurts you most is supposed to be the person who knows and loves you best, you've got to be able to separate your compassion for them from your susceptibility to them. You can pray for someone's change but you cannot deliver them to that change... and you don't have to be their punching bags while they go through the process.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
This Week's Teleseminar: Why Difficult Times & Awful People Show Up In Our Lives (Read Time: 1 min.)
Has anyone ever said to you "When it rains, it pours"?
The truth of life is this: bad things will happen.
Join me this Thursday for a call that explains why these "trying" times are not meant to break us down. To sign up, put your name and email in the sign-up box and log-in and class materials will be sent straight to your inbox.
Friday, May 28, 2010
In the book, I say the following: "If someone cannot believe in you when you're down, they cannot stand with you when you're up."
Let's get together on Thursday, June 10, 2010 and learn what that really means.
In this class, you'll learn:
- how to differentiate between friends and acquaintances
- what to do about friends who spend more time advising you than they do supporting you
- how to remove 'emotional vampires' from your life for good
Sign up with your name and email address in the sign up box to get class info and details!
Monday, May 24, 2010
In Chapter 8 (Transforming Your Guilt Into Acceptance), I shared an experience I had with my son when he was 4 years old (he's now 13) and it was a profound turning point for me.
Check it out:
"Be willing to give up guilt and embrace acceptance. Here's how to do it:
1) Stop apologizing for things you didn't do. I meet people all the time who say "I'm sorry" for the most insignificant things. They bump into you: "I'm sorry." They pass the salt instead of the pepper at dinner: "I'm sorry." They speak a few seconds before you've finished your last sentence: "I'm sorry." They move past you to another grocery line and slightly brush up against you: "I'm sorry."
I used to be that person. My 13 year old son was wise at age 4 and taught me how to stop saying sorry. Whenever I'd say sorry to this 4 year old grown up, he'd look me in the eye and say, "Mommy, sorry doesn't make good." No matter what I said sorry to, that was his response. And you know what? He was right!
If you did something wrong, apologize once and make amends. If you did nothing wrong, stop saying sorry for taking up space in the world. Do not apologize for your right to BE.
- Not Built to Be Broken, Chapter 8
Sunday, May 23, 2010
You've heard the say "Tough times don't last but tough people do."
Try telling that to someone who's getting hit on all sides with problem after problem, drama after drama, loss after loss. We need a new context with which to understand why tragedies happen, why people sometimes let us down, and what we can do to still live the adventure of our lives... without all the drama.
To receive the weekly notes and assignment, please sign up by entering your name and email address in the sign-up box to the left.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Sounds harmless, doesn't it?
In this "Take charge! Be Your Own Person!" world we live in, it makes total and complete sense to know what you're doing, to have a handle on things, to be in the driver's seat of your life. It's a good feeling when you're living in a space of confident personal security where you know that no matter what happens, you can handle it.
But, there's a difference between self esteem and arrogance, between understanding that you are part of the universe as opposed to believing that you are manager of the universe and that's where this fourth judgment call comes into play.
Far too often, we walk around in our lives not asking for help, not seeking out the wisdom of others who've been there/done that because, in our minds, we can figure this thing out on our own. Part of the reasoning is this: "If I ask for help, then I owe someone else something. It means I didn't do it on my own." How absurd is that?
Why would a person ever spend 10 years in pain so they can come out the other end saying "I did it my way!" when there was someone in their life all along who'd already done the 10 years worth of pain to be a teacher so YOU wouldn't have to?
It's time we got with the program. We are all teachers and students in every lifetime. We will always be teachers and students. When the student is ready, the teacher always appears but if the student decides that he or she would rather learn on his or her own, there is no one to come crying to when the journey takes you three times as long as it could have had you asked for some guidance.
Remember: asking for help isn't a crime; spending one minute too long in a less-than life always is. Choose where you get your wisdom from wisely but at least be the victor of your life by always asking for it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Abusers can be dead for years but the abused take over where their abusers left off. It can be a vicious cycle. When criticism is what you were raised on, criticism becomes what's comfortable. While you might want badly to change that, if you're not conscious enough to know the difference between your inner critic and your inner wisdom, you'll find that what you listen to and respond from are the negative thoughts you grew up on.
There comes a point where we have to make a conscious choice about who we believe we really are.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Would you agree and sell all your household goods and jump into the ocean to be with other walruses... or would you look at me like I've got three heads and six eyes and completely dismiss what I just said?
That's the topic I just wrote about in Chapter 3 of Not Built to Be Broken and, quite honestly, I went off on the topic. It amazes me how we will believe the lies that other people tell us about ourselves and, yet, those negative comments, ideas or opinions are as untrue as me telling you you're a purple walrus.
There comes a moment when you have to decide who you are. It's not up to anyone else to tell you who you are. In fact, they really don't have a clue and if you live your life people pleasing, being someone that you're really not, guess what? They really have no clue because those people haven't even met you yet.
It's time to get over the mental trauma we cause to ourselves when we choose to believe the "good" opinions of other people about who we are and about what we are capable of doing. I make it a point to deal with people in a "you speak while I do" sort of fashion. I don't have to convince you of who I am. You can speak and tell me who you think I am and you can really live your life believing that. Go ahead, do you. But, at the end of the day, I don't live by what people say I am or even who I say I am. I live by who I am choosing to be in my everyday actions.
We all can talk the good talk: "I'm compassionate." "I'm loving." "I'm adventurous." But, if you don't walk the walk, your talk means nothing.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Chapter 3 is about walking on eggshells. It's about why so many of us live our lives pretending, trying to be and say the right things all of the time. I wrote about blunt people the other day and it seems like on one side of the spectrum are the blunt people who use their 'realness' as a cover and, yet, on the opposite side of the spectrum are the people pleasers who live their lives walking on eggshells, trying to be everyone to everything.
I once had someone say to me, "Kass, you're not that nice." I still can't quite figure out why those words resound with me as much today as they did the first moment I heard them but I think it has something to do with this walking on eggshells thing. Everyone has a desire to be liked, appreciated or approved of and there's nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong with feeling like you need to be anything other than who you are in order to be accepted. On some level, we all have felt that but in writing this chapter, I'm trying to figure out how I hit home the point that we don't do anybody favors by pretending to be anything other than who we really are. It doesn't improve anyone's quality of life to live a lie or to pretend to be who you're not... but how do you unlearn that? How do you tell someone to stop faking it? How do you give someone the tools they need to take off the mask they've worn for so long? That's what I'm trying to figure out in this chapter...
Monday, January 4, 2010
Don't allow other people to use their personalities as scapegoats for bad behavior.
I'm not a fan of people who say "Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm blunt and tell it like it is." That would be like someone punching you in the face and saying "Sorry, I'm just overly aggressive and physical." Does that make any sense? Of course it doesn't!
At the end of the day, each person chooses how and what they say and far too many people live in an unconscious state where they vomit out words without ever considering the power of what they speak. Every word you and I speak to ourselves and others creates a world. When you really begin to get that, you start to understand that life and death ARE in the power of the tonge and they love it shall eat the fruit thereof. I don't know about you but I don't want to eat hateful, pain producing words.