Abusers can be dead for years but the abused take over where their abusers left off. It can be a vicious cycle. When criticism is what you were raised on, criticism becomes what's comfortable. While you might want badly to change that, if you're not conscious enough to know the difference between your inner critic and your inner wisdom, you'll find that what you listen to and respond from are the negative thoughts you grew up on.
There comes a point where we have to make a conscious choice about who we believe we really are.
"The thing always happens that you really believe and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
-Frank Lloyd Wright