Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Embracing What Comes (Read Time: 3 min.)

Today's been a real day of me dealing with how other people are showing up in my life... and I haven't been liking it. There have been all sorts of things to get offended by today. When I get a series of "offensive" opportunities, I know that the real issue aren't the other people; it's me. So, here's the question:

How do you embrace how other people show up in your life when you really don't like how they're showing up?

Hmm.... Hard one, right? Right! I was reading "The Art of Possibility" by Zander and Zander today and came across this line: "You see the "stumbling blocks" that stand in your way are part of you, not her, and only you can remove them." There are times when other people's behavior or actions will feel like stumbling blocks. It will seem as if they don't respect you enough or aren't considerate enough or lack some form of reciprocity that you need. The natural reaction to that will be to feel anger, disappointment, judgment, and blame. But what's that going to solve? Nothing...

At some point, you have to remind yourself that everything that you need is available to you. The question isn't "How do I get that person to behave the way I need them to?" The real question is "How do I get what I need even if that person doesn't change?" That one question changes the entire dynamic. No longer is your happiness, joy or success based on someone else's change. And here's the thing: you build the framework and you establish the resources. There is no one person who is irreplaceable in your life.

Far too often, we don't hear that enough. We think that a spouse or a parent or a job is something that we MUST have and can never be replaced when what we're really looking for isn't exclusive to that one person. It's available everywhere and all we need to do is change our mind about how and where we can get it. It's about shifting out of the "You've got to change" mentality and into the "I am the framework for everything that happens in my life.

If I shift, what I need will come to me, regardless of any other person's participation in me getting what I need."

Are you ready to shift? Can you make the change that says "I no longer limit me"? Can you do that? Because the moment you start to see unlimited opportunities in the landscape of your life, you will begin to understand that other people's behaviors, as much as they may appear to be stumbling blocks, have no real bearing on how and when you get your needs met. All of that is up to you...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share this site with others