Far too many of us have a 'just in case' mentality. Whenever joy or love or abundance enters our lives, we brace ourselves for what's coming next... just in case. We fall deeply in love only to hold that love back... just in case. We take on new responsibilities at work but only go a little above the extra mile... just in case. We allow our true selves to come out in social gatherings but we don't let people see ALL of who we are... just in case.
Aren't you tired of 'just in case'?
You can't be on fire for life if half of you is stuck in the "just in case" mentality. Sometimes we think that keeping the worst case scenario in mind by holding ourselves back is the only way to remain safe in a world that we don't control. The reality of the situation is that only by letting go are free completely free to allow in.
All of this is easier said and done. It's easier to feel 100% open to something whose outcome you're 100% sure of. Especially when life has knocked you down a time or two, it's hard to employ the idea of putting yourself all the way out there. But what's the alternative? Lukewarm is lukewarm no matter how you slice it. If what you want is a life that's full of love, joy, and peace, what you have to give to it is all that and then some.
Getting rid of 'just in case' isn't simply a mantra. It's a clear decision you make to stop settling for "just enough." It's about expecting the best in all situations, even the ones where it looks like you'll lose. It's about not needing to know every detail of how you'll get to where you're trying to go at the same exact time that you so fervently know you'll get there. It's the habit of looking for the bright side of things even where no bright side can be found. There's power in knowing that you can have whatever it is you say you want... even when what you say you want is bound to change.
If you're tired of playing it safe and sick and tired of expecting less than you deserve, here are five steps you can take to get rid of the 'just in case' mentality:
1) Keep your mind focused on the outcome you want, not the outcome you think you can manage. Here's where faith comes in. There's a part of every achievement that's you and a part of every achievement that's God. You have to know that if what you want is for you, there is nothing and no one that can keep it from you. Let God do His part and you do yours. Part of your "part" is keeping your mind focused steadfastly on what you want. God will always bring you that OR something much, much better.
2) Unlimit your personality. Be yourself in ALL situations. Don't be afraid to be who you are. If someone doesn't like you, let them deal with that. Be who you are and do so without apology or regret. When you stifle your personality, you don't give people an opportunity to experience you, to be transformed by you, to enjoy you. When you live your life doing that, you feel imprisoned and there's no peace in that. Don't worry about rejection. Rejection will come. There will always be those who don't like you for reasons you will never understand. If they're going to not like you anyway, why hide who you really are? At least if you're being yourself, when people reject you, it won't be because you hid behind a facade. It will be because they couldn't receive the magnificence that is you.
3) Go for more. Most of us shoot far too low. We have expectations that are far below our capabilities. There's no challenge in living that way. There's no passion in moving forward. At some point, you've got to be about going beyond what you think is possible merely for the game of doing it. Make no mistake. This is a grand adventure. Take whatever goals you have today and kick it up a notch (by 30%). Go for more than you feel comfortable going for. It is in your discomfort that genius will be born.
4) Check your ego daily. In one of her books, Marianne Williamson has said, "Humility is for the ego, not the spirit." Living in spirit doesn't require being humble because that isn't even a part of the spirit's vocabulary. However, most of us deal with our egos on a daily basis. The ego is very good at helping us forget where we came from or whose help we need. It's so critical that you check your ego at the door daily. On a daily basis, you need to remind yourself where your help comes from. Do not be fooled into thinking that your accolades, achievements, and progress are soley and completely because of you. The moment you do that, you are headed for a fall... and many of us live with 'just in case' because when we went high, we paid no respects to the God who took us there and, in that same period of time, we were brought low. Do not repeat that lesson. Check your ego daily and you do this through gratitude, thanksgiving, and praise. God is too good not to acknowledge that your every breath and your every dream comes and is activated fully and completely by Him.
5) Let it go. Holding on to a dream too tight suffocates it. Oftentimes, we hold on because we're afraid that if we let go, the dream will let go of us and it won't be achieved. There's a difference between focus and obsession. Your work is to focus on your goal and to believe, with faith, that you will attain it. Nothing in that describes says you need to spend every waking moment meditating on it, working on it, living and dying by it. That's obsession. There can be no idols in your life that require your ever-mindfulness on it. Goals that you worship are goals that you define yourself by and they are goals that, at some point, you will hit and miss. Put your dreams in their proper place. Keep your focus and your faith... and then surrender all of it and let go. What comes back to you will be far closer to the dream that any thing you can clutch, catch or hold onto.